KLB - I Miss Julie



I miss Julie. There, I said it. I miss my best friend. This has not been easy.

You can't imagine unless you were there. On that elevator. Trying not to look at each other. Down, down, in awkward silence to the basement where the moving van ajushi was waiting. There, in the cold sterile parking garage, we loaded my old bags into the van. Everything happened so quickly. I sat in the back seat, closed the door and looked at Julie through the window. There was no time to be sad - until the driver went up to use the bathroom, thereby leaving us alone together. I opened the door and we hugged, both of us shaking and crying. No matter how much you realize you're not meant to be with each other, when it comes time, it's still damn hard to say goodbye to a relationship. I haven't felt that sad in a long, long time.

The poor ajushi - during the trip, he kept looking in the rearview mirror as I sobbed and handed me tissues. At one point, perhaps to console me, he put in a CD. Some old sappy love song started to play and I went from sobbing to howling. He turned it off and handed me more tissues.

Dammit, she was my best friend. She believed in me and took care of me and made me dwen jang chigae once, and, well, I guess I'm rambling now...

Over the past year I haven't spent more than a day or two away from her, and it's been hard getting adjusted to my new life. If you haven't guessed already I'm staying here in Gangnam with my friend John for a bit. He has a really big pad, lots of space and a cranking air conditioner. He hasn't cooked me dwen jang yet, but he's making me feel much better by drinking a lot with me, at least. Poor guy had to go to work today at 11:00 AM for a meeting with a bad hangover. I didn't feel too bad, but I haven't been sleeping well lately, either. Still, had a decent day with the kids. I'm gonna miss them a lot.

Don't get the wrong idea. I still feel all this is for the best, and I'm getting a little excited about my trip, which I will talk more about soon. You can't expect a guy to just snap back to life, though I admit a twinkle is flitting about in my subconscious...

Stay tuned. I got John's camera to use, and will take some pictures around Gangnam in the near future. There's a lot to photograph in this part of the city. But for now it's back to listening to sappy songs, drinking Cass beer and dreaming of a better day, a better life, the new Xbox 360, a world where all cats have a home, that episode of The Smurfs when Gargamel caught all the smurfs but set them free when he realized he wouldn't have a purpose in life without trying to capture them, a flower in the spring...