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18 June 2004
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Korea Life Blog - Korea Headlines

Awhile back I started cutting out some odd snippets from the Korea Herald. Similar to Jay Leno's headlines, there is something peculiar, something just a little off about each one. Well I finally had a chance to get them scanned, (thanks to Julie who has a scanner now in her office). Have a look at the first series of Korea Headlines.

Urgent! Wanted for Assistant Director: 0 person! Nobody need apply! Notice what the applicant has to include: a 3 page essay on how to promote sales and license in the world. What the hell does "promoting license mean?" Ok, here I go. Double space, BIG FONT: "Promoting license in the world is important. Very important. Very, very, very important. License is something people need to drive a car and it's very important but it's also necessary for sales and..." Though they require qualified English for the job, apparently it wasn't a requirement for writing the job ad.

Are there that many foreigners in Seoul familiar with great Italian wines? What the hell is Pasqua Valpolicella Classico Sup. DOC. That and Pasqua Sove Classico DOC? - The prices are unbelievable and so are the names!

Apparently they don't think to highly of their applicants. Hey, who you calling "it?"

OK, I'm sure the food here is good, but isn't this just a bit of an exaggeration? The sea...the sun...la Provence in your plate! Just who do they have there cooking the food? "Ok, Jesus, one order of the sea and sun, table 7."

I had no idea there were so many awards for the international moving industry. I don't know, though. "The First Accredited ISO 9002 of Internation Moving in Korea"? - "The Quality Worldwide Door-to-Door moving under FIDI Network"? - "The Fist FAIM/ISO Quality Standard in Korea"? Just whose giving out these awards anyway?

I'm not even going say anything about this article. You just read it for yourself. Shocking, truly shocking...especially the last paragraph in the center column.

This one cracked me up. Here is some event by humanitarians calling on the government to help the poor. I think the camera man is missing the point. "What's going on here? Oh, I see. Cabbage! Wow! What a story!"

Another one that made me laugh. (Click on the picture to see it full size). Here we are at Ewha Womans University. Wait a minute, that female student there in the circle looks a little odd. Hey, isn't that Charles Barkley, the basketball star? What's he doing there? Security!

Here's an ad for another moving company. I love this: you'll have your own supervisor during moving - he remind you of every work process from start to end. "OK, Mr.Smith. Now you wrap all your dishes in newspaper. After that, carry the sofa onto the truck. Don't forget to pack your toothbrush. Come on now, hurry up, move! move! move!" Also, I think they had a little too much space to fill in this ad. Golden Black Box! Professionally made, unlike those other boxes made by unprofessionals. And wow, they come in various sizes! Whoo hoo! Their company provides their own skilled staffs! No wonder they are members of HHAFFA, KIFFA & CBAFF.

I don't mean to belittle the seriousness of the crime, but this just sounds ridiculous: "...the policeman shot the man because of his lack of hospitality." "What? No tea? Why, you...blam blam blam!" I might expect that to happen in England, but here in Korea?

The Oakwood Premier - This place delivers everything you'd expect of a 5 star hotel...including Pizza Hut pizzas! Wow! - now that's fancy. Notice who they're quoting, by the way. It's Mr. In Soo Cho, that's right managing director of Pizza Hut!

Now this has to be the most tasteless concept I've ever seen in my life. Sexy porcelain? That's just plain disgusting. Hmm, wait a minute. Maybe I'll get a set and surprise Julie with a romantic dinner.

Well, there you have it, Korea Headlines. Many thanks go out to Konglish and the Korea Herald..also to Julie for scanning these for me.


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