Korea Life Blog - At the Arcade (1)

Ahh, remember the days of Moon Patrol, Donkey Kong, Kung-fu Master, Karate Champ, and Punch Out? When I was a kid, I was a regular at the arcade and those were my favorite games. I spent so much time at the arcade that the guy who ran it used to leave me in charge of the place while he smoked pot with his friends in the office (he got busted a while later which ended the days of rigging my favorite games with hundreds of free credits and stealing tokens for future use.) Anyway, over the years games got to be bigger, more complex, more expensive and in my opinion much less fun. Wow - I'm really sounding like an old fart tonight. Anyway, here are a few pics of one of the game rooms near my home.



The standard games. It's cool that you can sit down and play them. However, they are usually sorely outdated fighting games or sports games like soccer and tennis that make you wonder if you're really even controlling the players. They even have Tetris. I always hated that game.



Here's a neat machine. I haven't played it for fear of looking like a moron, but I guess you hear music and do your best to hit the beat.



I get a kick out of these mini-norae bang room machines they have. You put in some coins, pick your song and sing away while watching those ever-cheesy Korean scenes on the screen.



Time to sit down and sing your favorite Celine Dion tune. The only time I was in one like this was after my girlfriend and I broke up in Pusan. She sang "Nothing Left to Say but Goodbye," which ended with her crying and me trying hard to conceal my laughter at being in such a weird situation.


Stay tuned for future posts in this exciting series. I have to get up to Seoul to snap some pics of the ever-joyful dancing games...

Korea Life Blog - Orgy in China

Those Japanese are at it again:

"An orgy involving 400 Japanese tourists who hired 500 Chinese prostitutes over three days in a luxury hotel has prompted outrage in China."

Korea Life Blog - Dirty Dishes

One of the best parts about speaking Korean a little, besides flirting with girls, is being able to order food. In Korea, food is delivered promptly, piping hot, with side dishes and all, on real dishes wrapped with shrinkwrap. Silverware and chopsticks are included. Now, not only do you not tip the delivery man, but he even comes back later to pick up the dishes!



After eating, place the dishes outside your door, garbage included. When the ajushi has another delivery near your home, he'll stop by to pick it all up. Does life get any better than this?

Korea Life Blog - Sticker Picture

I remember the first time I saw a sticker picture, a long time ago. I had come home from my job in New York and checked my mail and had somehow received a letter from a girl in the Philippines whom I did not know. I'm not exactly sure how she got my name and address but it was plain that was all she knew about me. Despite that, she described her deep love for me and that she would make me a wonderful wife. All I had to do, she said, was fly to the Philippines and marry her and then take her back to the US. Although she loved only me and would never want to hurt me, if I didn't feel the same way about her she requested I kindly pass on the letter to someone who might mend her broken heart. Attached to the bottom of the letter were several sticker pictures of her sad, yearning face. I kept the letter for awhile and showed my friends. Nobody, of course, was interested, so I crossed off my name and slid the letter under the door of some lonely older guy that lived down the hall. I'm not sure if it was a coincidence or not, but I never saw that guy again.



An inviting display of sticker pictures. You go into one of the various booths and put 3,000 thousand Won in the machine, select from various backgrounds and sizes, and then snap, snap, snap. You pick the ones you want to print and presto...your mug is printed out as stickers. When I first came to Korea I used to get these and stick them on my letter paper letters to home, back when I actually wrote people.



A woman checks out her new sticker pictures. These places are very common and they do a good business - look how busy it is here.

Anybody have any good ideas as to what you would do with sticker pictures of yourself? For example, sticking them in women's restrooms with your number written above them?

Korea Life Blog - At the Hagwon (3)

It was another exciting week at the Hagwon. It is good and bad that I only teach each class one time during the week. The good side is that I can use the same lesson every time and do whatever I want. Nobody watches me or cares. The kids mostly like me so the boss is happy. I'm not really expected to teach English, I think. I'm just expected to look like a foreigner and make the kids laugh. The bad side is that I've become utterly lazy. How I ever made it a year at my previous school in Ulsan, is beyond me. There I taught 6-8 classes per day, each class 2-3 times a week. Each class had well over 10 students and they were off the walls and my boss made me use a stick to discipline them. Everyday I dreaded that place. After work, I would go to the health club and pump iron to work off the stress (the only good thing that came from it) then go home and down a bottle of soju and maybe a few beers besides (a really awful thing that came from it). I wish I had started my blog back then. I have a lot of stories about that time. The only reason I stayed there was because my boss paid me 550,000 Won every Friday after class and paid all my bills. Also, I had already quit 2 other jobs, and so he had to pay a chunky bribe to get me the visa. Anyway, now I have a great job, albeit not without pitfalls - the biggest being that I live in Nowhere-dong where it's quiet and peaceful, yet very boring. As I've said, though, I only teach 3-5 classes/day, there are less than 8 students in each class, sometimes as few as 3, and they are all pretty good kids. I don't have to discipline them, thank God. They are actually really cute and innocent kids out here (I took a bunch of pics of them yesterday and will post them soon). However, because of the set-up, it's impossible to make progress with the kids as far as them learning English. There is no coordination between what the Korean teachers are doing and what I do. And by the end of the week, I'm pretty sick of the lesson I started with on Monday.

This week's lesson: what do you do in the morning? I start the week fresh and ready. I spend the first half of each class teaching the sentences and making the kids actually speak. They ask each other the question and give answers. I comedically (hey, wow, I invented this word just now) enact the various morning rituals and make the kids laugh to the point of tears. They copy the sentences into their notebooks only one time. Then I give them this handout:


Yes, it's time to draw again, kids. But since I actually taught you for awhile, there isn't much time. So I tell them to draw Jorla-man, stick figures. This is one of the best and most creative examples. All the scenes are pretty funny.



As the week goes on I spend less time teaching each class and more time making them write and draw while I read. Since there's more time, they can color. "Get up" is funny. I'm not sure if he is able to get up after the fall. "Take a shower" is cute. Drawing stars around the boy's clothes is pretty creative. Also I love his breakfast: chicken, fish carcass, rice, and green penis? soup. Mmm....



This one is also pretty funny. They often think "get dressed" means to wear a dress, which is a little embarrassing for the boys. After he puts on his dress, he takes another shower then gets "dressed" again. Mmm, more fish for breakfast then off to school still wearing his dress....hahahah.



This is another one of my favorites. I'm considering hanging all of these on my wall (I need better decorations than a photograph of three cows). The shower scene is pretty funny. I also like "get dressed" - very creative. His face when he's brushing his hair is cute and note his attention to detail: he's even drawn decorations on his shirts.



By Friday I no longer care about teaching. I walk into each class, write the sentences on the board with the Korean translation so they don't bother me, make them copy it into their notebooks 5 times, give them the handout without any instructions, then sit down and read the newspaper. Needless to say, my students on Friday don't really like me much. I thought I should throw in an example drawn by a girl. I drew the arrow in there between "eat breakfast" and "brush my hair" before I took the pic. By the way, I'm not sure what's actually going on there at the breakfast table but it made me laugh.

Korea Life Blog - Korean Dessert

While I love Korean food and can no longer imagine living without it, I have never really liked Korean sweets. I say "sweets" because Koreans don't usually eat dessert. In fact they consider dessert to be coffee, tea, cola, orange juice, cider, or some other drink. Deok seems to be the most popular of sweets. Others include anything filled with sweet mashed beans and breads with cream in them (I remember one time I bought "rolls" and made hamburgers, only to find out the rolls had whipped cream in them...yuck!) I sometimes miss blueberry pie, brownie sundaes, and real chocolate cake. Mmmm....



A picture of two kinds of sweet deok. My boss's wife sometimes brings these in for the Korean teachers who utterly love it. I smile and eat a few pieces out of politeness, but I don't really like it much. It's kind of chewy and slimy. (Any Korean person reading this is probably gasping in astonishment right now...)

Korea Life Blog - 1988 Summer Olympics in Seoul



The 1988 Summer Olympics were held in Seoul. This tiger was the mascot. Starting to show his age, he ramains today lining the walls of the Dongdaemun Stadium Station downstairs where you wait for the train. I'm glad they left these. They make you think about what that time must have been like here. As with most Olympic mascots, he looks a little odd. I'm not sure what that is exactly on his head. If anybody knows, please share. Also, if anybody has any memories to share about that time, I'd like to hear about them.

Korea Life Blog - KLB Stats


SUMMARY STATS
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My blog seems to be gaining readership, receiving between 350-500 hits per day. Thanks everyone!

Korea Life Blog - Japanese Style Mandu and U-dong



This is one of my favorites. I used to eat it more when I lived in Pusan. I could get the mandu dish for 2,000 Won near PNU compared to 3,500 here. First you mix the sauce and vegetables together. Then you take a little clump and put it on one of the fried mandu pieces, fold it over (kind of hard if your not good with chopsticks) then chomp it down. On the left is U-dong, Japanese style noodles in broth. Both dishes are delicious. There are many tasty and inexpensive dishes to sample at this commonly styled restaurant found throughout Korea. I'm not exactly sure why, but even though they're set up like any normal restaurant, you are required to pay upon ordering your meal at these places. Anybody know why that is? I can understand at fast food restaurants, but here you have a menu on the table and a waitress. The practice feels a little offensive to me, call me sensitive if you'd like.



As an added bonus to this already action packed post, I've included for you a stunning photograph of a highly delicious specimen of kimchi. Note the nicely cut size, the perfect proportion of cabbage and sauce, the slight glistening. Also notice the brilliance with which I hold the kimchi perfectly between the chopsticks while snapping the picture. I must say I have come a long way since the days when I used to hold one chopstick in each hand...

Korea Life Blog - Tyson Punch


Mike Tyson, since going bankrupt, has now moved to Korea and is teaching English at Wonderland. Unfortunately he's not having much luck finding any privates. To make extra money, he is setting up punching machines across the nation. However, he hasn't enough money yet to hire an artist that can draw him with even a subtle hint of accuracy.

Korea Life Blog - Park it Here - No Problem! (1)

One of the (many) reasons I'm afraid to drive in this country is because of the serious parking problem. There are entirely too many cars and not enough space to park them. Not only that, but Korean drivers, believe it or not, are not always the most considerate people when it comes to their cars. (How many times have I been using a crosswalk and a car zooms up in front of me to make a turn causing me to have to walk around him so that he can arrive to work 2.1 seconds earlier?) However, to give credit where credit is due, Koreans have developed a kind of parking art, so to speak. They must be the most adept parkers in the world, able to fit their cars into the most unthinkable spots you can imagine. A talent borne out of necessity, for sure, but a true talent nonetheless.


One of my kind readers sent me this picture and it gave me an idea for this new series: Park it Here - No Problem! I just love it when people park on the sidewalk. (Better still is when some maniacs drive down the sidewalk - which I saw tonight but didn't have my camera ready.)

Korea Life Blog - Subway Scenes (1)


Here we have two well dressed grandmothers engaged in a conversation during their commute. At this precise moment the grandmother to the right is gabbing away and the one on the left is thinking about something. Unfortunately I can't understand Korean, and even more unfortunately I can't read minds. However, it's sometimes fun to pretend I have those abilities. Here are a few examples of what I came up with.


1.
The grandmother to the right is saying:
In order to get a seat on the subway you have to be very quick. If you see an open spot but someone is beating you to it, quickly throw your purse on the seat (or at the person). If there is no seat, however, find a young man and scold him until he gets up.


The grandmother to the left is thinking:
Personally I think light green goes better with purple, but maybe I won't tell her.



2.
The grandmother to the right is saying:
I'm thinking about opening a deokboki and o-daeng stand. There's only 3 of them on my street. I know my deokboki is better than theirs.

The grandmother to the left is thinking:
She really needs to do something about her hair. That style went out years ago.


3.
The grandmother to the right is saying:
Young people nowadays have no morals. Just today I saw a man and a woman holding hands outside.

The grandmother to the left is thinking:
I'm in love with you and you don't even know it.


4.
The grandmother to the right is saying:
Foreigners are ruining this country. There's one over there with a camera. I bet he's trying to take a picture of young girls.

The grandmother to the left is thinking:
Where am I and how did I get here?


5.
The grandmother to the right is saying:
Young people these days have no style. Look at their plain clothes. Honestly, I don't know what they're thinking.


The grandmother to the left is thinking:
Say it again, sister.


6.
The grandmother to the right is saying:
Wait, is it me or does that guy with the camera look a little different? I'd better see the doctor.


The grandmother to the left is thinking:
I smell garlic.


7.
The grandmother to the right is saying:
In the old days we used to put the kimchi in jars and bury them in the ground until it fermented. Do you remember that time? That was when kimchi was really kimchi. A few years ago my son-in-law bought me a kimchi refrigerator, can you believe it? It's a refrigerator that's supposed to speed up fermentation. I don't want to hurt his feelings, but the kimchi is, well, a little bland, and...

The grandmother to the left is thinking:
Oh no, not this story again...


8.
The grandmother to the right is saying:
(panting) I told you we'd get a seat.

The grandmother to the left is thinking:
(panting) I told her we'd get a seat.


9.
The grandmother to the right is saying:
I don't care how much an apartment costs in Gangnam. My grandchildren deserve the best education. My son-in-law...


The grandmother to the left is thinking:
She dyed her hair again. Who does she think she's fooling?


10.
The grandmother to the right is saying:
When I went to Los Angeles to visit my sister, I went to McDonald's a few times. They have this hamburger called the Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese. Just looking at it made me full. It came with enough french fries for 6 people. And I needed two hands to drink the cola. And they have a breakfast menu. I got this sandwich with sausage, egg and cheese. It was delicious. So I asked myself, why don't we have this at McDonald's in Korea? And milk - let me tell you. They sell it in gigantic plastic jugs. How much milk does a person...


The grandmother to the left is thinking:
She forgot to take her pills again. She's delirious.



Now it's your turn. Click on the comments link and give your versions of the scene. It's a lot of fun and readers all over the world will laugh along with you.

Korea Life Blog - Sacre Bleu!


La Vie Blog De la Cor�e

Korea Life Blog - Douner Donuts?


Of all the fast food chains, the one that gets ripped off the most is Dunkin Donuts. In fact, they are the only one that gets ripped off like this. Just look at the blatant copy. If you didn't look carefully you wouldn't notice the difference, except for the colors. In fact, you tend to overlook the name itself as you've seen it so many times. It's the shape, font, and arrangement of the words that you notice. You would, however, notice a difference in the quality of the donuts. In fact, I wonder if this might really be run by Dunkin Donuts. Maybe they use this chain to sell off their 2-day old inventory to unsuspecting customers. One thing is for sure, getting suckered into eating these stale tasting donuts is definitely a real "douner".

Korea Life Blog - Planet of the Ape Machines



Hmm, looks like the crazed soldier has put on his glasses and transformed himself into a suave ape. Either that or he got punched one too many times. I actually saw a crowd of drunk Korean guys gang around this thing at 2:00 AM, each waiting eagerly to give the ape a whack. I wanted to snap a picture, but it's best (especially for a foreigner) not to draw the attention of extremely drunk, ape bashing maniacs, so I waited until they had gone.

Korea Life Blog - Yi Sang: The Wings


If you would like to sample some well written Korean literature that's been translated into English, pick up a copy of this book. It features three short stories by Yi Sang, a posthumously famous author of short fiction and poetry. If you're in Korea you can find it at any of the larger books stores with an English section or you can order it off the net at Amazon.com. I've read it several times, each time stirred by the author's haunting portrayal of his mental state while suffering from turberculosis during the time of Japanese occupation. Read below for an account of the author and a short synopsis of the stories.





Yi Sang was trained as an architect during the period of Japanese occupation of the Korean peninsula. He was a controversial poet in his own time, and continues provoke readers to this day. Incorporating a range of tone from the surreal to the hermetic, from the comic to the scientific, he is perhaps best known for his subversive blending of these sources with a more native Korean idiom. He was the author of numerous short stories and poems collected in various posthumous volumes. Arrested in Tokyo for "thought crimes" in 1936, he died in Japan of tuberculosis shortly after his release.

Book Description
The three stories gathered in this volume display Yi, Sang's inventive manipulation of autobiographical elements, a method which expands his intensely private narratives into broader meditations on love, life, and death. "The Wings," a dark allegory of infidelity and self-deception, probes the ambiguities of perception and language through an unreliable narrator who bears an uncanny resemblance to the author himself. "Encounters and Departures," a tale of ill-fated love revolving around erotic passion and physical illness as metaphors presents a female protagonist modeled on the woman who was, in real life, the author's muse and femme fatal. Similarly, in "Deathly Child," Yi, Sang offers a witty, incisive examination of sexual mores through a fictional reenactment of his ambivalent feelings toward the woman he married toward the end of his life.

The Wings

Korea Life Blog - Sure, I'll Stop and Have an OB!



Sexy dancers promoting the opening of a new bar in Seoul, an ingenious method of attracting men. I'm not sure what the appeal is for women, though, but who cares! I've even seen these kind of dancers at the opening of regular restaurants, norae bangs, grocery stores, and elsewhere. I love opening day!

Korea Life Blog - Attention: Does Your Anus Feel Strange?



Seeing www.women.co.kr, I naturally became interested in this sign. Perhaps it's an announcement for a fantastic new place to meet Korean girls on the web, I thought. I couldn't understand the hangul, so later I typed it into Babelfish and this is what came up: Anus surgery, anus hemorrhoids, gynecology formation. Hmm, not quite what I expected. Does it sound as bad in Korean as it does in English? If I saw this kind of blunt sign in the states, I would be surprised and probably laugh while doing impressions of Beavis and Butthead. By the way, I had no idea there is such thing a gynecology formation surgery, especially in Korea. It sounds...well, interesting anyway. I'll have to do some research.

Korea Life Blog - Stray Days



This cat had been hanging around my apartment building off and on for some time. On Chuseok, she looked as lonely as I did. I set her out a plate of tuna. She wouldn't come near me and so I left it and a few minutes later I watched through the window as she gobbled it down. Ever since then I often spot her outside my window lounging around and taking naps, walking around noncholantly or sometimes fighting off promiscuous male cats. Many times I've tried to pet her, but as soon as I get too close she runs and hides. I think it's better that way, as she needs to be wary of people here. Most Koreans dislike cats and kids love to taunt and throw rocks at them. I love cats, as do the majority of western people. Now instead of throwing away my leftovers, I throw them out to her and sometimes give her tuna. She's become a sort of natural pet, I guess, living in her natural environment, retaining her freedom yet making me smile.



Here's a picture of another neighborhood cat in Seoul keeping guard over one of those crane games rigged with the crane game jerk of despair.

Korea Life Blog - Megaton Hagwon in Ulsan


Do not work for the Megaton Hagwon franchise in Ulsan. They are liars and cheaters and will steal your money and all your documents. Please, listen to me. That franchise is notorious for ripping people off.

Korea Life Blog - Out of the Way! - Bundaegi Coming Through!


A man on a motorcyle zips his way through a crowded sidewalk desperate to deliver frozen silkworm from China to an ajumma in Seoul waiting to boil them up and serve them on the street.

Phew! They arrived just in time. The ajumma cooked them up and is ready to serve them. Look here.

Korea Life Blog - Let's Get Out of Here

I was surprised by this study reported in the Korea Herald today:

Seven out of every 10 adults in their 20s and 30s want to emigrate to another country, according to a recent study conducted by the marriage information company Piery.

After surveying 572 clients over the phone, it found that 72.1 percent are thinking of relocating.

When asked to explain their motivation, 42.3 percent said it would be for their children's education, 31.4 percent cited the present unemployment problems in Korea, and 19.7 percent are fed up with the political and social turmoil, results showed.

In addition, 32.7 percent said they would like to move to Canada, 30.5 percent wanted to immigrate to the United States, 23.9 percent named Australia, and 8.9 percent hope to live in Central or South America.

Canada proved a popular destination because of its favorable living conditions and lenient immigration policies, representatives said.

However, only 10.1 percent of the 380 people who named Canada said they are thinking of moving within the next year. One quarter said they are considering immigrating within the next three years, 30.8 percent answered between the next three to five years, and the largest number of correspondents or 33.3 percent said they are considering relocating more than five years from now.

"More and more singles who are thinking of immigrating are looking to marry someone who is also considering relocating because they want to get married in Korea before moving to another country," a representative from Piery said.

I would expect those kind of numbers from some other countries like the Philippines or Indonesia, not South Korea. Then again, there's a big difference between being Korean in Korea and being a foreign teacher in Korea. I teach 4 hours a day, get full time pay and a free apartment, people go out of their way to talk to me, girls go bananas over me, etc.

If I were Korean, I would be still living home with my family under enormous pressure to get married, working 10 hours a day or more, trying desperately to save enough money to buy an apartment in a highrise someday, and contemplating jumping off the roof.

The biggest reason I would want to leave would be the 26 month mandatory military service required for all men. That really must be hell.

Korea Life Blog - Chicken Crazy


I live in a tiny town outside of Suwon where there is pretty much one or two of everything. There's one small hospital, one pharmacy, one video store, one bakery, one dry cleaner, one room salon, one no rae bang, one church, two PC rooms, a few small grocery stores, etc. However, to my amazement, there's a whopping 8 fried chicken restaurants! - not to mention the fried chicken stand in the grocery store, and the fried chicken restaurant coming soon.

I've talked about this before, but it still amazes me. I thought America was famous for fried chicken until I came to Korea. While not well known for it, Koreans are chicken eating fanatics. One of their (and my) favorite things to do is to eat friend chicken over a couple of cold frosty mugs of beer. You might not notice if you haven't learned to read Korean, but there is literally a place to get fried chicken on every corner. Here is part of the collection from around my town:


This one is open into the wee hours of the morning. I'm not sure if it ever closes, actually. Many nights I've come home late to see people stumbling out of this place. The chicken is just OK. I hate the places that include the chicken's fried neck and other peculiar pieces.



There's the lone pharmacy conveniently located next to the lone hospital. What better place than above a pharmacy for a fried chicken/beer restaurant! Right after you chow down you can stop downstairs for some indigestion pills and some aspirin for tomorrow's hangover. The name this chicken restaurant is a little strange. In case you can't read Korean it's called: Hand Down Bake Chicken. I'm not sure about their baked chicken, but they really do have the best fried chicken around, hands down.



Here is Bobos chicken and beer restaurant. It's located right next to the other two mentioned above - (all three of these are within a 20 second walk of each other). Bobo means kiss in Korean. I agree, nothing more romantic than fried chicken and beer! Too bad the chicken here is awful and the fried neck is included.


Well, that's all the pics I took. I think part of the reason there are so many chicken restaurants is because Koreans love to drink, as everybody knows. And when they drink, they always have some kind of food. Fried chicken and beer go perfectly together. I'd like to see some cool places like these back home...